I know, I know, it's been out for a while now, and I'm just catching on. (I'm still working on that "toothpaste" concept as well, just in case you were wondering.) I derided it forever, saying it couldn't possibly be better than the British version. No throwing around the slang I have no idea how to use! No Paki jokes! And worst of all, no more Scotch-egg-biting by my favorite obese imaginary friend, Keith. Sadness!
Well, somehow a DVD of said show ended up on my coffee table, I was absentminded enough to put it in while in my catatonic "drool state," and the rest was history. Whip me with the shame stick, I stand corrected! And how, in no particular order, some things I enjoy about said show.
Number 1 fave: CREED BRATTON
O-M-F-ing-G. Creed Bratton MAKES this show for me. In addition to being the "spooky old guy" in the office, he is essentially playing a cameo role, since he really is Creed Bratton, former member of the Grass Roots, druggie dude and card-carrying weirdo. Wiki that shit!
- "Creed is a taciturn quality assurance representative at the Scranton branch of the Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company. He lives in Toronto, spending three nights a week there in order to milk the welfare state. The remainder of the week, he sleeps in his cubicle, using the office water cooler to bathe.
- Creed spent time in an iron lung as a teenager, and was a member of the rock band The Grass Roots.
- He has concentration problems due to his drug use during his rock career and is unfamiliar with many of his co-workers, regularly forgetting their names and personality traits.
- Creed has four toes on his right foot and enjoys arcade-style shooting games. He lost his toe because his parents bound his feet as a young child.
- He snacks on nutritious, fragrant mung bean sprouts, which he keeps stashed in his desk on a damp paper towel, though he admits "they smell like death." (ed. note: LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT)
- Creed says that he made love to many women during the 1960s (outdoors, in the mud and rain), and could possibly have made love to a man, but "there'd be no way of knowing."
How could you not love a guy like this? People, HE WASHES WITH THE WATER COOLER! This is a quality character we've got here! With the possible exception of my number 2 fave...
DWIGHT SCHRUTE
Oh, Dwight, my sweet, potato-shay-ped man child. Where do I begin my love letter to you and your hateful, small-minded ways?
Dwight triumphs over British Office's Gareth in many capacities, mostly because of the fact that he belongs to the highly mythologized nerd/dork hybrid, characterized by odd habits, an authority complex, extreme immaturity, and a strange aversion to cleanliness -- one rarely seen past the age of 14.
My first experience with this type of "nork" was a kid named Ephram that I went to middle school with. (With a name like Ephram, need I say more?) He always wore a khaki boy scout uniform, never washed his hair, had those middle-aged man gold aviator style glasses, pulled his socks up to his thighs and wore shorts 365 days a year. He never really said much, so I just assumed that he was the quiet, smart loner type, wise in ways I wouldn't understand and maybe kinda funny in a weird way.
Well, I quickly learned the error of my ways when we were paired to work together on a project. He always carried his big back pack because he "didn't believe in lockers," not because he had any inkling of wisdom buried squirrel-nut style in his oily, dandruffed head. He didn't help with the project, was obsessed with gaining more rank in "the scouts" and was only interested in muttering out his various comments concerning the lunch ladies and their monopoly on selling picnic cookies at lunch. Basically, he was the sort of person that would be entertaining on TV, but not in real life.
Enter, Dwight.
This annoying, pedantic little man makes my TV dreams come true with his ignorant ramblings, self-aggrandizing speeches and affinity for beet farming. In short, I can only say, I DIG DWIGHT! (In theory, and with a "third wall" between us.)
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