Am I a fatty?

Recently (ten minutes ago), as I perused the internet while awaiting my day of servitude to come to an end, I came across a listing on Paper's website concerning the best doughnut places in New York.

I was disturbed to realize that I have eaten doughnuts at all but one of these establishments. Now, I've only lived in New York a few months, but the fact that I have somehow managed to eat doughnuts all over the city -- in between working, having a social life, washing my hair, etc. -- distresses me in a way I cannot explain. How and why have I been to all these places? I can admit that the Doughnut Plant is one of the finer doughnut establishments I have ever perused, but still! Come now! Am I doughnut connoisseur? Or merely a fatty in training?

Don't answer that.