...please date me!
Consider this a love letter sent into cyber space. I'm sorry to have to do it in this manner, but what can I say? You had me at "Let Me Tell You Where to Stick It." (And the accompanying, "Let Me Tell You Where NOT to Stick It.")
You see, Jay, I love a man that loves licking artifical bird life, wooded backgrounds and partying in a hearty manner. You also seem to love dogs, if your previous work is any indication. This is why we must be together. Forever.
Now don't go getting all "freaked out" on me. Let me talk you down here. If the one interview I read with you is correct, you seem like a pretty cool, mellow guy! It said you love quality beer and boners -- ME TOO. How are you not seeing the passion betwixt us? Because I can just see it floating in the air like little electromagnetic waves of lust. And just in time for Valentine's Day! (Whew, that was a close one!)
And now, more work of my beloved's.
(The picture quality below kind of blows, by the way. Just go to one of the links above and save yourself the eye damage of trying to see what the pictures are. Why do I put them up anyway? You tell me.)
Notice the woman's pained expression. ("Fuck Gary, it ain't gonna work!")
That tree is fucking bummed.
Instructions, if you should need them.
Amen!
3 comments:
Ya know, Ali-Son, I don't mean to toot my own horn here but I gotta say. A number of this attributes you find so appealing in this Mr. Howell can be found locally in your friend Brian.
Wooded bedroom populated by fake birds: CHECK
Obsession with dogs: CHECK
PARTIES IN [ admittedly, slightly less than] HEARTY MANNER: CHECK
SEE YOU SOON SOON.
wow i read that interview...the internet is crazy
-olga
he's HOT. if i didn't have a boyfriend, or live in IC, i'd give you a run for your money.
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