Miss Lonelyhearts

I know I'm trying to be less "angry" and all, but it's Sunday, why the fuck not. Anyway, my beef of the day concerns people who get angry on public transportation.

Dear Angry Seatmate on the train or bus:

Please, please, pleasefortheloveofchrist shut your mouth. I know you're late for that pressing paint sale at K-Mart, but could you kindly stop complaining so loud that everyone around you is forced to watch you hissy, and no, I'm not even going to phrase it as a question. We're in an enclosed space, we can't help traffic, and I can't help thinking you would immediately start slamming my head against a wall or eat my face if we got stuck underground, so could you please stop speaking under your breath with all the curse words and terrible imagery? You make my innards quiver, and not in that good way I like.

Sincerely,
I'm the one staring at all the advertisements,
please don't look at me,
Alison

P.S. You know that feeling when you drink too much coffee and you feel like your throat is closing and you might just ralf everywhere? This is mostly an iced-coffee oriented phenomenon, for me. Feeling it.